Welcome to Hell
by Sophie Abyss
Summary: Chrno is dead. Where demons go when they die? To Hell, of course. But the Hell we're used to know, is quite different from the truth. How will Chrno stand it? Ch1 is up.


**Good evening, my dear soon-to-be readers,**

**the last story (the one I deleted) was an utter failure. I _do_ know. I have the bad habit to post things beforetime, and on the top of it all, when they're still random ideas. Ah ah ah... So, that was a _random_ idea and I guess I'm lucky no one reviewed it. Hm. My statement sounds strange. I'm probably the first fanfiction-er that has ever said "glad no one replied to my story." **

**Anyway.**

**_This_ story, instead, is older. Much older. At first, it was a funny tale I used to tell to my little sister. Now, she's grown up (13yrs old) and she doesn't care anymore about it. sigh Well, during the years it developed and now, I'm proud to say it's a wanna-be novel. Recently (yesterday) I discovered it was strangely connected to Chrno Crusade. Why? The place where is set is... demoniac? Lacking of better words. So, I tried to mingle them together and what came out was a nice story. Ah ah ah, my little evil experiments...**

**There will be a lot of OCs. The characters, anyway, aren't completely mine. I've taken it from the Roman/Greek/Christian mithology. So, I'm telling you this: if you don't like when people makes fun of the religion, press the back button and go away. I'll be doing _a lot_ of messing up and this tale can look heretic (...) to a believer, which I'm not. And yes, I do think one can make fun of _everything_. Not everytime, though.**

**Title: **Welcome to Hell

**Writer:** Sophie Abyss

**Edited: **26 - 09 - 2008

**Disclaimer(1):** Chrno Crusade is not mine... it would have been boring if so.

**Disclaimer(2):** The Gods, God, the Devil, a handful of angels and devils. Heaven and Hell.

**Claimer:** Some of the angels, devils and people.

**Pairing:** Chrno/Magdalene, Chrno/Rosette, Rosette/Chrno

**Genre:** Drama/Psychology/Humour/Supernatural

**Rating:** T+ (for now). Maybe M, from time to time.

_I want you to tell me the mistakes I do. I want to improve. Thanks!_

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**Chapter One – Welcome**

Bit by bit, Chrno regained consciousness.

He blinked and surveyed the area from his position, which set him lying uncomfortably over the floor. He couldn't see much and anything that could help him to make his location out. There was no light. After few seconds of momentary puzzlement, he seemed to realize it would have been better to stand.

And so, he got up.

His body was sore. A lot. He stretched out his arms that throbbed painfully and so did his black wings. Only then he noticed he was in his full form- even if he couldn't quite place _why_ it was strange since during the last years he favoured it over the human one.

Chrno shook off the thought with a shrug. It wasn't really important. Right now, he needed to know where he was and _what_ he was doing there.

He first tried to recollect his memories and found out, somewhat worried, he wasn't able to remember the last thing he had been doing. He remembered something black, which wasn't really helpful and so, he decided to start with finding the way out of that place and then, try to recall his earlier acts. A safer decision to his disorientated and slightly panicky mind.

Being the eyes of no use, the nose helped him to walk through the darkness. Lucky him, a sharp smell was coming from a rough direction in front of him. It wasn't… pleasant. Chrno was having a hard time to keep himself in control. The more it got stronger, the more his nose prickled painfully in disgust.

What was it?

It reeked like a mingled handful of stenches. Blood, rotten meat, alcohol, smoke... even stink of sex and deterioration. It was steadily growing closer. His stomach complained.

What _the hell_ was it? Humans never smelled good and demons were yet worse, but that was different. Chrno hoped the way out was going to be easy to find because he couldn't bear it much more.

Suddenly, a pale light glowed in front of him. He hopefully longed for it, mistake the whitish glow for the sun. Soon later, he realized it wasn't the sun. It was coming from a closed door and it shined on the now visible green floor.

Chrno, instinctively, started to breath from his mouth, relieving his nose from the dreadful smell. His eyes were thankfully enough competent to catch that little light and grant him a far plainer vision of the room.

His right hand grabbed the handle.

_Hope this is the exit… I'm sick of this horrible stench__… _

Unfortunately, it wasn't. The demon found himself entering another room, bigger, brighter and louder and inhaling one time alone, he realized it was the smell's native soil. As his pupils managed to adjust to the forceful light, all the confusion of being lost was replaced by a bottomless shock.

_What the fuck… is this…__!? _He thought, shaken.

There were demons and humans, together, doing all the sorts of things. Sitting at the tables, laughing or playing cards. Some of them were drinking and singing like mad, trashing around their glasses filled by beer or wine. And some of them were definitively drunk.

Blushing furiously, he noticed a little crowd of people copulating, and he looked away. Whenever he had gone to or was _taken_ to, for the matter, it seemed like everyone was having fun.

Chrno was too preoccupied by his surprise to notice another demon approaching him.

He snapped out of his thoughts when the other one touched his arm. "Ah! Calm down…" He raised his hands in front of him. "I wasn't… doing anything. I only wanted to get your attention…"

He stared, baffled, at him for a moment before losing his patience. "Who the hell are _you_? And just what the hell is _this_ place?"

To his disbelief, he broke out laughing. "Oh! That was _hilarious_," he sniggered. When he finally recomposed himself, he smiled warmly. "This is Hell, my boy."

Chrno could tell the demon was trying to mess with him. That couldn't possibly be Hell. First, it was poles apart from all the illustrations of it he had seen throughout his life and secondly, he _hadn't_ died, to begin with. "What are you up to?"

"Me?" He chuckled. "Nothing. Why would I? I'm telling the truth. About what you said, the ones that painted Hell were still _alive_, right? About the second statement, I'm sure you realize you _have_ to be dead."

His frown deepened. "How do you know my thoughts?"

"Come on, you're not new to this. You can read the mind too, right?"

"How-"

The demon interrupted him, still smiling. "You are quite famous down here. Most of the demons were killed by you and after the insurgence, you got yourself a name."

That actually made sense but he couldn't still bring himself to trust him. His experience warned him to have confidence in unrelated demons at once. "Okay. Why have you said I _have_ to be dead? Explain that to me."

He sighed and pointed at his head. "Your horns."

Chrno almost smiled at his inaccuracy and said, "what are you talking about? Aion broke my horns off long ago."

"Are you sure?"

"Are _you_ sure?"

The demon smiled amusedly. "It doesn't hurt to try. Am I right?"

That made sense too. So, Chrno reached for the two blank spots on his head's sides but instead of the delicate scarred membrane, his fingers felt a familiar but forgotten stiffness belonging from his ivory horns. He was right. They were _still_ here. Now, he wasn't sure anymore if that made him trustworthy or even more questionable. He eyed him with reservation, stepping back.

"How did you…?"

"I told you. You're dead… well, in the afterlife, you can't die anymore. But demons die when they lack astral energy and so, in case their horns were broken off, they develop again," he explained and in the while crossing his arms over his chest. "Now, do you believe me?"

Hesitantly, he nodded. "If this is… Hell," he said, feeling the word strange and foreign above his tongue, "this makes you…"

"Yup. I'm Lucifer." The said demon smirked. "The Devil. The fallen angel… I have many names but I'm different from the horrible red monster the living humans use to paint. Right?"

"Right… how did I die?" Chrno suddenly asked. It sounded weird, more than ever because his body was feeling pretty lively. He _wasn't_ feeling dead. And since he couldn't still recall his earlier actions, he wanted to know at least how he managed to get killed.

"Well…" Lucifer looked thoughtful. "To tell the truth, I'm not sure. The last time you were awake, you were in Holy Mary Magdalene's grave…" He hesitated. "So, I guess you died there. I mean, your horns were broken and you couldn't draw any astral energy. You probably passed on while sleeping."

"Oh…" It wasn't surprising. But the demon's allusion to Magdalene bared some of the raw pain the last fifty years managed to ease a bit. Being asleep didn't leave him any time to process the sorrow caused by her death. It was still a sour spot.

"Don't sulk, all right?" Interjected Lucifer, patting him warmly on a shoulder. Chrno was more stunned by his doing than relieved by it. "We have to do a lot of things. "

"Things?"

"Yes. And be grateful," he smiled, "in general I don't like being introduced to the newcomers. But you, my boy, you're a _unique_ case."

"A unique case?" He demanded, frowning. "What do you mean by that?"

Lucifer grabbed his arm and they started walking down a corridor he wasn't aware of. "Of course, you're a _strange_ demon. You dislike killing, for example. And with that friend of yours, you planned an _uprising_ against the demon society."

Much to Chrno's perplexity, his tone was growing delighted. "The Sinners had been the only ones in the _whole history_ that dared to do something like that. Kill the Queen to change the world. And then, you kidnapped Mary Magdalene, a human being, a _holy_ human being. An unforeseen exploit, really…"

He smile warmed up. "Everyone believe you were going to kill her. Instead… well, there _were_ some divergences but in the end, it was a demon that cared for a human being. An innovation."

Lucifer looked positively enchanted by the topic, but Chrno also knew he wasn't aware of the whole story. And without doubt, he wasn't going to tell him anything. "Where are we going?"

"My office," he replied. "I have you to sign your profile. And there are some blank spots we need to fill in order to have everything done."

"My _profile_? You keep _profiles_?"

The Devil shot him a inquisitive look. "Yes. Is it strange? It's one of the Hell's decrees."

"Hell has _decrees_?"

"What's wrong with that?"

"Well…" He frowned. "I believed Hell was… hem…"

Lucifer waved an hand. "Yes. I got it. Flames, pain, desperation and so on." He sighed. "Heaven is different from this, if you're asking me that. And if you're not, don't worry. You _do_ make atonement for your sins down here."

"How? The people and the demons back then were _enjoying_ themselves."

The Devil shrugged, not bothering to turn. "You don't know _everything_ about this place," he pointed out. He did not further elucidate his statement, leaving Chrno all at sea.

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**Right. I forgot. I don't like to post long chapters. Why? It's hard to read on the PC so, I'll try to keep them short and so the paragraph. Read and... review, of course.**

S.A.


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